What to do?Me, I can never decide. I usually end up so confused I just throw on jeans and a T-shirt and tell myself "next time you'll make a decision; next time." But I never do. And I doubt I ever will. The fact is, this decision is a lifetime dilemma for men; it starts in boyhood and carries through to the creaky old man years.
Let me say first that by limiting the discussion to pirates and ninjas I don't mean to disparage all the other fine manly role models out there: God bless the knights, soldiers (often real soldiers wearing their combat fatigues, but don't think for a second that they aren't happy as hell that they have a legitimate reason to wear them), superheroes and cowboys, and to a lesser extent, the indians, medieval outlaws and samurai. I do mean to exclude the no-no's that are often confusedly lumped in with these others: rappers, goths, police officers, wizards, and those gay, gay cowboys.
Yes, cowboys fit in both categories.
Now, the "good" boys will go for soldier, knight, or superhero. "Not as good" boys pick between ninja and pirate. Consider: the "good" choices all share the same general concept: a brave warrior with masterful fighting prowess and the desire to protect the innocent. Pirates and ninjas share those first two traits, which are essential to boyhood, but they also know darn well that saving the innocent on your own is usually more trouble than it's worth -- better to hire your services out and let your employer take the credit or blame for your actions.
Not saying pirates and ninjas can't do some good, just that they can do some not-good, and no one's going to care.
For example, a bunch of soldiers torturing prisoners at Abu Graib makes for hand-wringing and headlines. A gang of pirates torturing prisoners at Abu Graib is more likely to elicit hand-clapping and headspinning! In awesomeness, I mean. Soldiers are questioned before a military tribunal, whereas the only question people would ask the pirates is "how did you get way out in the desert with that pirate ship?"
Or, if you will, recall the never-ending historical controversy over the Crusade knights. But if a ninja clan had sacked Islamic Jerusalem, boy-howdy! That would be an event no one could disagree with. Not even Muhammed himself. He'd be all like "these dudes attack in silence, move like the wind, and disappear into the night? Why can't MY guys be like that?!"
Not that Mohammed was at the sack of Jerusalem. Just that, you know, if he was, he'd totally say that.
So you see my point. Pirates and ninjas have a certain immunity from judgement, and yet are praised more highly for doing good than the actual good guys, because no one expects it. That's every young boy's dream.And in fact, it's every grown man's dream, too. The appeal of the good bad guy is undeniable. But when it comes down to which one you choose, now that's a problem. Unfortunately, what we can learn from history and culture doesn't really help out much.
I'll get into the specifics of both manly possibilities in my next installment, which I'll get around to whenever I damn well feel like it. Or maybe I'll do it this evening, in the dead of night, when no one expects it.
I can't decide . . .
5 comments:
I always think robots are the greatest. Sometimes movies make them gay, like C-3po or the "I, Robot" robots. But that's just Hollywood fiction. In real life, robots are awesome, like the Cylon robots in "Battle Star Galactica."
Hollywood should start making movies about real-life robots, the kind of robots who do things like stabbing ninjas to death with dead pirates that they (the robots) have killed. That would be much better than the robot movies they are putting out now.
Costume good for store?
Maybe if pirate, go in store, frighten clerk...he think give money. You say, "not robbing to you," he say, "you real pirate, want treasures." Hard to buy foods after this.
If ninja, grocer man see you every time (!!), you fail the mission.
My thought to not be those costumes, maybe why ninja and pirate not so often at store or most anywhere these day.
It's the dead of night. I would have expected it. But instead, I find no sequel to the Ninja/Pirate post. Shame on you! Personally, I'd think go with Ninja....every time.
Or, you could have a friend convince you that going to the store in your jammies while wearing giant Coke polar bear slippers would be OK. Or was it to campus?
Why wouldn't you just let me wear jeans and a t-shirt anyway?
-Amateur Scientist is a good costume for the SuperMarket
-Soldiers as a broad group also hire out their services with the employer taking credit or blame.
Listening to this post is a humorous thing!
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